Journal Entry 3/15/25

● I started going thriving my storage top have a garage sale and downsize what's left of the remnants of the life I once had, the life I had with my kids. The life I loved. 

Aside from the things that belonged to the kids that they now have with them, this is so that I was able to salvage while I was being poisoned to the point that I couldn't work or physically move anything when I was being kicked out of my homes because of the things he did to us.

This 5x10ft storage unit, only half full, and some of it are things I've aquired after he destroyed everything I cared about. 

Just this and somehow my cats, who I believe he also keeps having poisoned (I now check and change their water bowls out regularly just in case)

Honestly, about 2/3 of this is what was left over. 

I often think of things I loved or used often that I no longer have. Things that had meaning and memories attached that are no longer here. Things like my tub full of Christmas ornaments the kids and I made ourselves over the past decade, pictures, gifts and other momentos. 

The greif I feel every time I come here to get something is sometimes paralyzing. It's hard to look at what's left without breaking down. 

Some of the things in here smell like whatever sents I used before, it smells like home. 

So, when I say the man destroyed my life, what I mean is that he quite literally destroyed each and every part of my life, each and every part of what made my life whole, one thing at a time until it was all a pile of rubble. 

●Here's the latest in my stalkers videos:

*The one titled "Let them lose you" is in reference to a comment I posted in response to a conversation I was having with a fb friend about how I've been cutting people out of my life who participated in this dude's sick games. 

Basically, any friends or family that find out about how much damage he caused in my life who decides to continue to do the things he tells them to. Such as passing along his threats through using colors or by coughing when I talk about the things he does. 

Those are all threats of harm that will come to me for telling people about his abuse.

* And I'm pretty sure that the one that says "This person isn't happy for you" is him saying he's not happy with me, that he wants me to keep his abuse to myself, and to beware. So that's a threat.

Isn't that what all bullies and abusers want? It's basically saying "if you tell on me I'll hurt you", but he's going on hurt me anyway. He hurt me when I didn't know what was going on and ex madly in love with him. So, I'm just going to keep telling people because I'm damed of I do and damed if I don't. I'd rather the world know so if I'm hurt, everyone knows who did it. 

This one was posted just before my drink was laced with bleach while I was out doing doordash last night. 

For those of you who are concerned, I contacted poison control after I realized it and there will be an addion to my come with the police. I'm ok except for some mouth irritation, and being tired and a bit nauseous today

● In a side note, I always forget how crappy the bleach poisoning is until it happens again. 

Everything is hard, thinking and concentration are difficult. Driving feels like it's a little dangerous, my reaction times and ability to process what's going on around me are off.

And just having someone near me while I'm trying to pick up a few things at the grocery store is agitating, distracting and frustrating.