Journal Entry 3/17/25

● I drove through the town I lived in with my kids today to go see me son at work. He just became a GM, at only 18! I couldn't be more proud!

I can't, however, drove through that town without crying. It's not just about what happened while I lived there. It's about what continued to happen after I left. 

Some of my family still lives there. And every visit out there after that resulted in being further gas lit, or blamed for my own abuse, attempts to convince me I needed to go to the psych ward, indirect threats to my health if I talk about what's going on by him getting people to cough at specific times, or someone in some way continuing to participate in my stalker's sick game. 

● It seems like any time I try to get people to talk about what they know, because I noticed the behaviors and the odd little stories and things people tell me and how they are not about them, they get so defensive. I'm trying to get information about what they know about crimes HE committed. Things HE manipulated them into doing. 

I tried to talk to my mom and aunt about their behaviors and specifically said that I know they wouldn't go so far as to take part in the poisoning, only to have one of them yet defensive and day I just accused them of attempting to murder me... even it was the exact opposite. These are the types of things that make me think that he'd hijacked my phone. Because they're is no way everyone would get that defensive off they weren't doing things they shouldn't be, and I guess I just think that now that my whole family knows he's doing these things, why would they keep participating? The behaviors make no sense. 

It's was the same with my boss when I brought up what was happening at work, at both jobs. 

Is like either he's hijacked my phone, or they are still "performing", or they actually did something wrong and are defensive due to their own participation.

Either way, my goal in suing either of my jobs, in addition to compensation for the trauma and loss off wages, and the inability to go back for multiple reasons, is that the truth will have to come out some way or another. 

They stood do the things I'll be suing for, but the trauma behind it are what is in question. 

● Not much else happened today with the stalker though, except for maybe a sing or two playing at the gym that may have been him hacking into their Playlist due to the coincidental timing of them. 

That and, there are times that someone will make a "ding" sound on things, like banging on a metal pipe with another piece of metal to make a ringing "ding" sound, when I do or don't do something. It's hard to explain. One for us and two for no. 

 It's obvious when it's being done though, due to timing and the out of place nature of the sound. 

Today it was when I texted my son saying I'm not going to be able to go out there. The neighbor "dinged" once on some piece of metal twice.

Then after I thought about it a bit, Ib decided to l that I could in fact make the trip and texted him to tell him so. The neighbor then made the "ding" sound once.

I don't use that to make my decisions, however, it's something I've noticed and something that's happened more than I've and at one point was going on at work when I worked in the sandwich shop. 

One instances in particular happened the evening before I was poisoned and fired there when I was being ready for the owners to be there early the next morning and realized that I forgot to finish cleaning the rest of the paint off the window from some painted advertising I had recently scraped off.

I looked at the windows, realized it and said something like "Shoot". That's when the employee cleaning something on the floor next to the ice cream refrigerator tapped on a metal pipe once.

This was an employee that was also directed to have oddly specific conversations with me, of which I'll get into later when I get everything together for my case against the shop. 

What that behavior is, on a psychological level, is the abuser trying to control things. At least, that's the simple explanation. 

I usually just do what I need to despite the "ding" sounds he has people do, but it's no less another form of crazy making behaviors he uses to further mess with me. 

... This is so exhausting and I wish he'd just leave me alone.