Journal Entry for 3/30/25

I started going through the people in no longer able to talk to or visit due to their participation in what was a horrifying and extremely mentally,  emotionally and in some ways physically abusive time in my life. 

I'm still subject to my stalker's abusive behaviors, he still had people around me, at work and other places I frequent messing with me, although it has seemed to calm down a bit since I've been so publicly open about his actions and how his behaviors gave affected me and my life. Not to mention the lives of my kids who I've only spent tike with less than a dozen times since he poisoned me repetitively to the point that I couldn't work and pay my bills for months. 

But the people that I sent to for help. The ones that I went to and told "Hey, this guy is messenger with my ability to provide, to work, to make money"... or the people I knew that I sent to and told that he was stalking me. The ones that instead of realizing that that was a big red flag, and instead either acted excited that it was happening (probably due to his lies) or flat out told me that it wasn't when they were obviously in on what was going on, those people are the ones that have caused the majority of my PTSD. 

I can't tell you how scared I was going to any of the holiday events with family the last 2 years because I was terrified that they would continue to participate in his mentally abusive games. 

And they did, despite seeing that his actions and his sick game resulted in my going from being able to pay my $2,000 / month rent and bills, to me being on the streets. Which they also decided to participate in and knew, based on how they reacted and responded to those things happening and based on how they knew of things that happened that they shouldn't have known about unless they were there.

Those are the people I can't be around without having severe anxiety or without breathing down into tears at the mere tight of having to see or talk to. 

So, I've been going through my contacts and telling them how their actions affected me and why I'm no longer about to see or talk to them anymore. 

●On another note, I went to the EEOC again today for my lawsuit against the sandwich shop. The EEOC is needed to sue for firing me for bring poisoned with bleach in my drink at work. Although I also intend to add in the abuse, anxiety annoy going to work that the abusive and harassing behaviors caused (for which I have documentation in from of text and emails) to the law suite. 

I'm still kind of shocked that the DO and my GM thought it was ok to treat someone in this ways. Even if they weren't doing what my ex was telling them and quite possibly paying them to do, it was something that anyone would have complained about and would have the right to sue over. 

However, the EEOC is under staffed and I'm having trouble getting an appointment. They take walk ins but can only take the first 4 per day. So, I'll have to find another time to go on and hope to be one of the first 4 in line in a couple of weeks since I work also mornings. 

But, once on in and they do their investigation, it's no doubt that I'll be able to sue and receive compensation for their highly abusive behaviors on my stalker's orders. Which I'll be able to use to buy a small piece of land or an RV or something i can use when it's time for me to retire so I'm not struggling when I'm too old to work like I've seen happen all too often with our senior citizens. 

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