Journal Entry for 4/21/25: Forced coughing syndrome, backpacks, and no longer being able to contact three abuse hotline...

Was able to open my shop today after a long and tiring tire ordeal Friday night. Caught up on some phone calls, in including a return call to the CPS for some alarming things I've witnessed and was informed about with my youngest son. Contacted the National Domestic Violence Hotline about the abuser wave to find more resources for help getting him to leave me and my family alone. 

Seems like after I talked to the hotline there were more people that you usual see with backpacks waking around wearing red and black backpacks. There's a background story to that. Backpacks were something he used while I was homeless to convey messages or get me to do things. Having people who were wearing backpacks direct me places, using different colored backpacks to tell me who was "safe" to follow or listen to and who wasn't. He decided to use backpacks probably because I referred him to a backpack that was good for all the technical equipment he kept on hand. And also because I bought on of the fall l same kind myself and wore it everywhere while I was homeless, it had all I needed in it.

I think he considers the backpack to be some kind of symbol of what he thinks is a deep connection between the two of us or something like that. 

Also, prior to this, while I was talking to the Hotline while my door was lowered at my flea market shop, there were more people than normal walking passed with what sobered like forced caughing syndrome... which is what I'm now going to call the suspected coughing threat he uses to make me scared that I'll be poisoned again for tent too get him to leave me and my family alone. 

It's because that upon ingesting the poison it causes irritation in the throat and lungs, causing lots of coughing...

I try keep myself from getting poisoned by making sure I never nave for it drink unattended. Not even in my own home or car. When I do doordash or get out of my car for any reason any open bottles of water or cups of soda that I've been drinking go with me. If they didn't go with me, I dump them out and don't reuse the container unless I've washed it out, if I reuse it at all. 

I don't  grocery shop, if I buy food for at home it's usually not something that contains anything liquid. Unless it's tamper proof. 

No fresh meats or produce unless I'm cooking and eating it right away because once I leave the house and come back it could have been poisoned. 

No condiments unless they are individually packaged because something can be put in ketchup or mustard or whatever. 

No leftovers of any kind. This can easily be tampered with. 

Canned foods are fine, but I'll sometimes clean the top before opening as an added precaution.

For water, I keep individually bottled water. If it's been opened or I've drank from it and left the house and come back to it later, I just get rid of it.

I don't leave food unattended in public, I went even let someone else watch my food or drink for me anymore because he's able to "convince" someone too easily to do something to it. 

I've found that I only get sick or have the bleach poisoning like symptoms at times that I dint follow these rules.

This makes feeding myself more expensive because the need for smaller portions instead of buying in bulk, individually packaged items and things that are easy to get and eat right away when it's time to eat. 

After I wrote this and saved it to my drafts, I'm suddenly not able to reach the National Domestic Abuse Hotline. Should this continue I'll being to believe it's my stalker/ hacker hyjacking my bald again and will need to report this to the police.