Journal Entry for 4/24/25: Threats to my car, and about my family's participation

●Google maps says I'm going to have to start walking everywhere. It keeps automatically changing my mode of transportation to walking instead of driving. 

From my own experience and everything I've read about people with personality disorders, this is a threat to my car. The abuser is basically upset that something isn't going his way and he's threatening to do, it have someone do, something to my car so I have to walk.

This is something that happens when I've done things to stand up for myself Shaun's the abuser. He's a hacker, so, he's able to threaten me without threatening me like that. 

The same goes for when I'm suddenly seeing a bunch of people riding bikes, at times in areas that you wouldn't normally see people on them. 

●The fact that my family ever thought it was ok to treat me these ways, top get rewarded for being mean and emotionally and mentally abusive mashed me physically ill every time I think about the the things they have said and done. 

I do get that now they will verbally attack me to cover up what they have participated in. That they will do all they can to gas light, blame shift or victim blame me for their own actions to try to not let it be known that they were willing to be horrible to someone else for personal gain. 

But still, it makes me sick to my stomach every time I think about it. 

It makes me even sicker thinking about the fact that my kids are now with these people so much more often. That they are being taught that this is okay by these people. That they are being taught by watching and being encouraged to participate in someone else's abuse as of is just a normal thing to treat someone you care about this way. 

The only thing that have me hope and made me so proud was thinking about how my youngest son refused to go along with the story I was being told about him. The one that I looked into and found out didn't even happen. 

And now because I figured that out, his dad is trying to keep him away from me. He doesn't want his kid to learn that it's not ok to mistreat someone. But, I guess that's what abusive people try to teach their kids, that is ok to be mean to another and if it's found out they do all they can to hide it. 

I mean, this guy has literally been getting people to be abusive to me for what I'm finding now had been at least about 2 decades and then making up excuses as to why it's ok.

The most recent one is, I think, that he's only doing it because I'm saying something about it. That's what I've been able to gather from what people tell me. 

My mom, who was participating before I cut her off, was teng to so that maybe he'll stop if I stop saying things about it. 

Ok... 1) I'm only saying things because he's doing it. I didn't just wake up one day and start saying he was stalking and harassing me and then it became so.

2) He was doing it before I ever even knew he still existed. While I was never saying a thing about it. 

So, that's not the issue and it's really dumb of people to believe that. It's just an excuse so that he can keep abusing and stalking and harassing without being told he's doing something wrong and without being caught. 

It's just typical bully behavior, when a bully hurts someone at school they usually tell the people they are bullying that if they tell they'll hurt them more. But they are going to hurt them again anyway, so, you tell. You keep telling and you keep reporting until the bullying is held accountable for their actions. 

And what they don't realize is that when third guy goes to court on his criminal charges, it's going to be up to me as to if I'm going to press charges on anyone of his accomplices...